just an observation.

but if you're from asia, you need to pick up your feet.

just a lil.. you can do it.

i know it's less lazy.. but commit.. you can do it. promise.. midgets and kids both do.. you can do it.

swear.

off your high horse..

i get really happy when people who think they're better than everyone, have lisps..

Vet tech.

PG says:
actually he's the sweetest thing
he does ANYTHING for me
i don't even ask for help
and he is just like sooooo sweet
i adore him
glad we are friends



Brad says:
yeh - i dunno - there is a certain girl personality type that likes to see just what a guys' limit is
in terms of asking him to do arbitrary stuff


Brad says:

hahaha this one girl i had hooked up with ONCE was like you want clip my cats nails for me? i just looked at her - and was like - NO.

matter of factly...

i only do what suits me.. and luckily i wear a six.

being broke.

the exciting part, is you might actually learn what life's about.

i realize you had acne in high school.

we get it, you weren't cool, now you have money. got it.. awesome.. don't rich people have hair stylists?

"When I watch porn, if it's not hot enough, I'll make up back stories in my mind. My biggest dream is to write pornography." - john mayer

why his heart melts mine.

Thor did a show for some special needs kids. wanted to share it 'cause it's the sweetest thing ever. I love their excitement.. he's like a shiny new object. so great!

i really liked it at the end here, when they gave him flowers :)

doesn't take a lot to keep me happy. my friends know this.

life.

peace on earth, good will to men, etc ..etc.

because everyone loves a good animule pic.

something leads me to believe she will find out the hard way..

Sarah Henderson:

BTW... don't ask me how I know, but apparently if you work at Rick's (yes, the strip club on Lake City)... you make about $8000 a month -wow- $960,000.00 a year... I wonder how much the girls in Vegas make?!?

Candidate testimonial:

"when we moved here, my daughter was tan and blonde.. and now she's paler than anything.."

mmmhmm, i feel THAT!

mmmhmmmm *snap*

Buzz u

ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. — A Florida woman said her love handles saved her life when she was shot entering an Atlantic City bar. Samantha Lynn Frazier said she heard two pops when she walked into Herman's Place early Saturday. The 35-year-old then felt pain and saw blood on her hand after she grabbed her left side. Atlantic City police said Frazier was an innocent bystander.

Detective Lt. Charles Love said the gunman was aiming for a man who escaped with a bullet hole in his down jacket.

The suspect remains at large.

Frazier told The Press of Atlantic City that 'I could have been dead. They said my love handles saved my life."

Frazier also told the newspaper that she had been "hollering" that she wanted to lose weight. She now said "I want to be as big as I can if it's going to stop a bullet."

___

Information from: The Press of Atlantic City,

pie charts.

it constantly saddens me that people don't have the same kind of dad i do.

he's pretty much my everything.

he takes up 99.7% of my heart.. not a lot of room for anyone else in there.

part of your site might be under construction..

..but all of you can't draw.

a lot of my guys DO need to be waxed..

2008 - 2009

KIRA Hair and Body Studio

Creative Director

2007 -2008

Stockne’s Pub

Server, Bartender

like on LinkedIn?

Akon "Right Now"

It's been so long
That I haven't seen your face
I'm tryna be strong
But the strength I have is washing away

It wont be long
Before I get you by my side
And just hold you, tease you, squeeze you
Tell you what's been on my mind

I wanna make up right now, na na
I wanna make up right now, na na
Wish we never broke up right now, na na
We need to link up right now, na na

I wanna make up right now, na na
I wanna make up right now, na na
Wish we never broke up right now, na na
We need to link up right now, na na

Girl I know mistakes were made between us two
And we show our eyes that night
Even said somethings weren't true
Why'd you go and haven't seen my girl since then
Why can't it be the way it was?
Cos you were my homie, lover and friend

I wanna make up right now, na na
I wanna make up right now, na na
Wish we never broke up right now, na na
We need to link up right now, na na

I wanna make up right now, na na
I wanna make up right now, na na
Wish we never broke up right now, na na
We need to link up right now, na na

I can't lie
I miss you much
Watching everyday that goes by
I miss you much
Until I get you back I'm gonna try
Yes I miss you much
You are the apple of my eye
Girl I miss you much

I miss you much
I can't lie
I miss you much
Watching everyday that goes by
I miss you much
Until I get you back I'm gonna try
Yes I miss you much
You are the apple of my eye
Girl I miss you much
I miss you much

I wanna make up right now, na na
I wanna make up right now, na na
Wish we never broke up right now, na na
We need to link up right now, na na

I wanna make up right now, na na
I wanna make up right now, na na
Wish we never broke up right now, na na
We need to link up right now, na na

I want you to fly with me
Want you to fly
I miss how you lie with me
Miss how you lie
Just wish you could dine with me
Wish you could dine
One that would grind with me
One that would grind with me

I want you to fly with me
Want you to fly
I miss how you lie with me
Miss how you lie
Just wish you could dine with me
Wish you could dine
One that would grind with me
One that would grind

I wanna make up right now, na na
I wanna make up right now, na na
Wish we never broke up right now, na na
We need to link up right now, na na

I wanna make up right now, na na
I wanna make up right now, na na
Wish we never broke up right now, na na
We need to link up right now, na na

my mom's response to the weiner dog video:

OMG, the dog is so cute and so smart. I thing Lynne has a dog like that( I don't know how smart he is...)
Did you like my meatloaf ??

conversation in my head:

"do you happen to have a USB stick?"

"ouff, i couldn't tell you the last time i had one of those if i crapped a hooker."

brunette with bangs moment..

i pulled up linked in, while i was sitting in this very posture at my desk.

and when this guy's pic came up, i thought it was my reflection.

what's like your ABSOLUTE favorite thing?

that's so cool, 'cause i know a lot of people who like that!

this is the best thing i've seen in my life.

sideburns are so gross.

this one took him a few hours in the dark.. tap tap tap.

Subject: I finished...

Galaxy sworn to live a life of chastity
Instead I follow paths into the darkest sense of mastery
I am avidly
seeking that which never had to be anything
less than chaos and catastrophe.
I can never be
In a complacent state of atrophey
I am everything
that you will be eventually
mentally most of you are unaware of your captivity
lo-sing-any sense of freedom
in it's natural capacity
Any sense of self you traded
for the cover of a magazine
that depicts your life
inside a certain light of tragedy
answer me
with either homie or his majesty
the latter goes for those who chose to give up what they had with me
And i DONT need your respect
although it's given automatically
Statically I hold the key to opening
your minds capacity
Fundamentally
I'm driven by my own tenacity
and the feelings of my past that constantly come after me
The dreams I have begin to find there way into reality
Consciously
I fear myself losing any gravity
to those who matter most but seem to only know the back of me
I choose to face the ones
who are costantly attacking me
with kindness and thier tendancies
to push me where I strive to be
cuz I am only
as strong as when I'm lonely
lost inside a song with nothing but 
my thoughts to hold me



     


Sent from my iPhone

juuuust sent from my iphone..

Subject: Thinkin of you..enjoy!

I let go of it all
Putting the future in the hands of a copper token of my esteem
I watched it fall
And cut through the empty space in between
And I stood tall
With the hopes that something small could change everything
I saw it crawl
To the depths of the abyss without intent of ever again being seen
And my heart stopped
As I vowed to hate the very thing that gave me the will to be
With my lips locked
I gave into the darkest taunts of my reactive thoughts
And stomach knots
And powerless against the things my mind fears but body wants
It all just haunts
Me like the ghosts of she that once held me tighter than the reality of
what I've lost
A star embossed
With a silver lining and held by the innocence that which is without
cost
And time just watched
As I fell to the prey of a savage named by my loss of cause
My only flaw
Was the mistaken motives that lead me to the web in which i'm caught
And so I thought
That if a man could so give hatred a chance then love would not find a
way to capture his heart wraught
With Anxieties brought into the center by a Trojan horse with skin as
soft
Or lips chapped or eyes gazed as monologues run into the nights keeping
sleep from lovers' bodies locked
But I was wrong
The waters that flowed from eyes and created streams were not of pain at
all
They were the struggles of two souls that had finally collided in a
course lasting centuries long
So now I wait without the burden of time and space
Without the pressures experienced in a familiar place
As the beginning was long since past and present is but a fraction of
how long love can last
And I felt the warmth inside again as her gravity embraced me like a
leaf in the wind
And the universe paused to share it's breath and I swallowed my pride
and abandoned regret
Touting my fortunes where I once wept
In response to the stars who's design is kept for those who are truly
able to accept
the ballast achieved when at this depth
While most will never feel the stings
or carry the weight or taste the things
That are given to few and held from all who have not the strength to
answer it's call



Sent from my iPhone

"sent from my iphone"

i can't believe i've blatantly forgotten to share poetry and tidbits from my "creative" ex..

this series will be called "sent from my iphone" .. 'cause why use a computer, when you have $0 but 3 iphones?

CF Commercial - Jamie 1st Draft

Extravagant presentation style setting with small crowd. 70's style lighting and wardrobes.

Main character - Fang Marcus
Large slicked back grey wig. Large slightly faded wire framed glasses. Brown suit with flared pants. Clean shaven with bushy eyebrows and a big nose. Carrying a long pencil thin mic he grips with fingertips.

Opening monologue:
(In overly dramatic voice)
"Contra Faction is pleased to present a future American hero. Please put your hands together in welcoming - Hall of famer Fang Marcus!"

(Crowd clapping and cheering)

Fang steps onto stage slightly working the crowd.

(Clapping and cheers fade out)
(during speech camera pans through crowd to people nodding in agreement ECT.)
Fang: "Good evening ladies and gentleman. Now, I belive we can all do our part starting today. Let us ban together as have past civilizations before any monumental change in history. As you know the CF has spared no expense on it's members. Granting all requests without question proving that a universal school of thought can be achieved and provided from a corporate force. That is why today I urge you to join the Contra Faction ranks. Become a controlling stake in this powerfull regime. Live lavishly. Wear imported shoes and drink 80 year old scotch.." (He picks up glass of scotch from silver platter held by well dressed butler and begins to sip but hesitates)
"Contra Faction is the future my friends."
(logo appears at the bottom center of screen as the rest of the frame slowly fades to black.)

During fade out, fang sips the drink and spits it onto the floor saying "What the fuck is this? Apple juice?!?"

Contra Faction cgi script rolls with sounds.


Sent from my iPhone

after condiment package tearer.

if there was a job kicking babies in the shin, i think i would have it.

it IS wednesday after all...

wait a second.. good looking asian? this must have been posted the same day i heard "money doesn't grow on trees".

Sarah Henderson: Being the older sibling sucks… being the sister of a good looking 6ft TALL Asian brother… SUCKS even more… girls like things that are rare… therefore when you see a tall/Asian/good looking guy you are going to try to have sex with him… I WOULD KNOW… these gross lil’ Asian sk*nks NEED to stop trying to give my brother ...STD’s… my BROTHER is wayyy TOO good for YOU and YOUR UGLY

talk about eating a lot of meatloaf!

..like if you were to talk about it, i'd be part of that convo.

the best thing you can do,

is to do many things.

well, you get the idea..

man she looks good..

..i wonder if she's worth the smell.

stamina.

"it's crazy how many condoms you can go through.. one in the morning, one at night, sometimes more.. it's like if you're havin sex, you're goin through condoms. condoms, condoms, more condoms. but i bury them all at the very bottom of the trash can...." - Marc

this has nothing to do with tommy wiseau.

good cover art.

haven't read this, but sounds tom sawyeresq.

simplicity in truth..

"oh ya... totally hot.."

"ya... and umm... latino girls! ............................ they have this SMELL, it's all like latinoness... idk i guess it's not totally disgusting, but it's definitely not inviting." - Marc

we need to put a stop to this. who holds the key!?

this weekend, as i waited for round four of tmobile wrestling.. i ate a sbux hummus wrap, while pasted to a pet shop window watching maltese pups.

nokia still makes phones?

not today, but maybe one day..

there's this fb group called "start a revolution, stop hating your body".

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2245684352&ref=nf

but i'm too afraid to join, 'cause i hate my body, and thus.. shouldn't false advertise.

j who?

sometimes i think i'm dreaming..

this one time i was driving my boss' miada *throat clearing* and anyhow.. a bag got caught in the "grill", and it blew the car up pretty much.. well anyhow i was in the depths of outer county LA, stranded on the side of the road..

... sitting on a curb with a blown out red convertible from '97...

.. when all of a sudden i heard "here you go lil lady.."

i looked up and couldn't make out a face very well, just a stunning dark and immense figure.. wearing a tight uniform (shorts, etc).

he handed me two bottles of water, and the climbed back into his sparkling arrowhead truck and drove off.

there are two things i like..

and spanish isn't one of them.

WasshiiinngggtonnnnnnN!

i'm becoming a vegeterian.. or whatever.

i just got excited that the women's room smelled of cheetos.

...and then i did the math.





...oh my gaaaww.

high five!

Sarah Henderson: It's super fun talking down to boys... I love wearing 6'in+ heels! and also having McDonald's in the morning o and not booty calling the ex! whoohooo I deserve a high-five!

i wish, bad, that i could post the "sexy pic" that accompanied this update.

somewhere between sticker picture photo booth, barbizon, and porn.

"paper"

WHEN CAN YOU START?!?!

sad day America :(

my t9 on my brand new phone, just formed the sentence "come out drinking" as i started to type "co..". we're pathetic America.

zack morris.

after wrestling around with the world's most crap phone, the moto cliq.. i got a behold 2 yesterday... which as a phone works whatever.. but the UI is about as good as King5 news' olympic coverage UI.

rise-n-shine.

i just realized i listen to 2 Pac's "keep your head up" every morning.

i hate it when tea bags break..

etc, etc... exit joke, exit joke..

8:22pm

"wait why does she wanna kill him?" - me

"it's in the loom thingy... it's faith" -chris

"fate?" - me

"faint" - chris

"fake?" - me

"faith" - chris

"fake?" - me

"fate." - chris

8:13pm

"i'm gonna punch those fishes." - chris

hitlist.

crazy about the crazies!

now, i want some of him too!

love love love love love love love.

up to no good.

there is nothing athletic, nor sexy about this.

i don't know who it is! google it, PHO!!!

i don't know what anything on this shirt means, but i met a lot of guys wearin it today :) thank you hoooonney!

LISTEN LADY!

i know what my man's beard looks like, and this:

isn't it! where did you put it.. don't make me get a warrant for a house search. you're a hairstylist, don't you have enough hairs!? didnt' you take enough from the top of his head?

what are you trying to do?

i still like him.. i'm still gonna keep him.. you still can't steal him.. but now, there's less of him!

whenever i'm in a relationship, a new tween band is born..

like are you kidding?!?! yes, yes thank you i will take all of them.. and combined they might make up my age annnd weight.

Thor is too skinny... but i have a potbelly, what do i know..

this blog writes itself .. i am but it's medium.

Sarah Henderson:One last thing, if you are planning to play board games, drink some Christalino ($7.99) and then get in a (non-gym) hot-tub… please let me know because I would also like an invite to that! Thanks

Sarah Henderson: O yea, and if anyone is planning on sleeping tonight?!? Can I join too… you know to help prevent me from calling people I shouldn’t be calling out of boredom/loneliness… cool -Thanks!

an occasion to celebrate.. ..or to be celibate.

Sarah Henderson: is ANYONE actually coming to my "CELEBRATE 2 YEARS OF SARAH BEING SINGLE AWESOME-NESS Party??? Haha... I got some pitty responses!Also big shoutout to Lover's Package for having my pe...rfect ANTI MAN / ANTI VALENTINE'S Gift ^_^

i don't think this has anything to do with her being single.. if anything, she could be a marriage counselor..


Sarah Henderson:Sometimes you lose a man to the girl who looks like an underage amateur porn star… after all, a nice pair of fake boobs and a small waist will make any guy weak in the knees… some of us girls don’t look like every man’s sexual fantasy? It happens, life happens… I guess I wouldn’t want a man who likes girls like that anyways… so don’t date men who are into cars

or this..

Sarah Henderson: I just had a full length conversation about scary movies with Mr. Bear and just for the record... HE/SHE is wrong and I DO NOT SNORE LOUDER after watching one... and Mr. Bear is grounded for hiding my TV Remote so don't bother asking him to hang out...


"it's not easy being green... or asian." -keroppi

keeping up with the joneses.

ughghghhghghhhtrr

it's not fair.. my friend is a pregnant halfrican with curly hair!

at every nerdy company party, she will always be token! it's like every textbook genre is covered.

..and then in the spring.. on family day.. SHE WILL HAVE A FAMILY.

i will just get the captions "here i am holding HER baby".

I GOT BANGS FOR YOU AMERICA! BANGS!

can't i at least have braces??

1+1 = 4

this guys' site just had gallaries of "3D", "2D", and.... "1D".

1D = vector

less is more... and generally a LOT more.

i've noticed that at a certain [high] pay scale, people ask "friendly/conversational" questions of their higherups, in order to have them do their job.

"ohhhh so wait.. in '97 the units doubled?"

"well ya.. kind of.. see what happened was.."

"ohhhhhhhhhh so thatttt's why in '03 they bought back!!!"

"well not exactly, you see.."

"wow, that's nuts jerry!" ...annnnnd send....

my man... *swoon*

the truth comes out.. one update at a time.

i know this overly passive agressive chick, that posts updates 24/7 about how much she hates the male species.. because she seems to be beyond unlucky in love.. but that's solely to leave the rest of us luck in love.. as she has now slept with half our country.

.. i won't mention that she's korean, 'cause it's irrelevant.

and not to exploit my friends, but i don't care, and also.. this one was amazing:

Sarah Henderson: Mrs. Christmas Bear and I don't care if we have a small chest and only take showers every other day... it's fine... water is expensive and so is a boob job...

i miss doing this. my life behind bars..

wrist slitting.

'cause nothing says love, like luv handles.

so a day after i use my friend's bein, barely there, Catholic Lent motivation to fuel my own... a guy my office gives me a valentine that is also a free donut at krispy kreme.


I THOUGHT WE HAD AN AGREEMENT UNIVERSE!

Seattle, WA 98039

and even if i didn't go anywhere, and this was all there was... i would still be happy.

i don't understand P.C. parameters.

i run my mouth so bad, someone will likely suicide bomb my house...
.. but that person won't be muslim, 'cause i've yet to met one i don't like.

i'm foreign as an asian elephant, so again, less to do with racism and more to do with H1Bs.

..when looking at resumes, i hate trying to figure out if you're Indian.

how is their culinary program anyway???

don't photographers ever get sick of takin "artsy" pics of everything they do, and every picture they take.. ..k we get it.. you dropped 20K at art institute..

it's about that time.

marrying rich seems like a better idea every day.

this is how it is.

it's not that i think you're ugly, it's just that i don't like your head..

rule of pretty #542

always have pretty guy friends:


Ree Chambers: 4skin

i think this is what led me to box dancing.

willpower.

there's no reason to get excited about feta.

to remind me of elle :D

-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --
Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"! -- see below

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

a sign from above??? THIS COULD BE MY CHANCE!

Hello!

My name is Elana Meyers and I will be representing the U.S. in the 2010 Olympics as a brakeman on the women's bobsled team. I will be moving to the driver's seat soon, and I am starting a national search for brakeman. Not only am I searching for brakeman, but our federation is searching for the next round of Olympians- as much of our current team will be moving on to other things. I am emailing you asking for your help. What I am looking for is strong, powerful, fast, and athletic women, as these are the qualities that make a successful brakeman (ANY AGE!). We can teach anyone how to bobsled! I played softball in college, while other athletes have played soccer, rubgy, and ran track, so I am looking for women from a variety of sports. Bobsled is a sport where the majority of competitors get into the sport later, and our Jr. National team is considered anyone 26 and under! Bobsled is a great opportunity to travel around the world, meet new people, and represent your country in one of the greatest winter sports!

Please forward this message on to anyone you think may be interested. A lot of our athletes start bobsled right after their college athletic careers have ended- so this message would greatly apply to graduating seniors that would like to continue athletics post-graduation. For any athlete who is interested, please have them email me at eamballer24@gmail.com They can also visit www.bobsled.teamusa.org to learn more information.

Thank you very much for your time!

Happy New Year!

Elana A Meyers

2010 Olympian

USA Bobsled

eamballer24@gmail.com

another day... another dollar..

..ouff, well i mean just about..

here comes another "not to be racist"..

but maybe if i didn't sit next to asians, i'd hear better music.

i can't cry..

i cried when i got bangs obvi.. but not since.. and not really before..

this image immortalizes this truth for me.. i liked the drawing.

sometimes..

..i still can't believe i got bangs.

i hope the metal detector goes off.. but let's face it, you don't fly.

maybe i just google weird ish, but this guy comes up for evvverryyything!!

remember?

"money doesn't grow on trees.."

it must have been opposite wednesday, the first time i'd heard this.

wait your turn.

i don't know you well enough for you to pretend to know me.

i don't even know where this is.

Lent starts tomorrow.

i like that.

my friend proposed to his gf with this. i totally dig the orange one. cute idea :D

in my opinion, all music festivals are lame..

thank you, and have fun at them..

my olympic involvement.

i don't know who this is... but i'll date him.

if it looks like an orange and it tastes like an orange, it's probably an orange.

so the other day i went to pick up a package at usps. please note that the blue envelope tucked neatly in the shelp, reads "hazmat". whether it's illegal to take pics inside the usps, is beyond me.. but i will say that there's something in the air.. and this time, i think it's anthrax..

full circle.

tell me it's not weird that she's wearin the same dern outfit as i am above.. there's something in the water, and i'm thinkin it's bleach..

she's got a great personality...

there's this place in WA called bellingham.. and i'm starting to think people there date based on personality.

not tryin to start a riot..

but do black people eat sushi?

i just don't wanna get arrested.

one day i think i wanna have kids..

...like at a zoo..

...like i wanna have a zoo of kids.

spellcheck.

in an effort to help elle assess her "contributions" tablet for work.. i mistyped a totally unpc

"your cherry"

across the hall.

i hate loud laughter in unison.

ohhh.. this is why people can't stand how i dress.

so there IS a weight limit on slutty. got it.
i would strongly suggest she uses a domed umbrella ella ella..

i even found her a slutty tween one...

unlucky in love.

elle: there's another ball in may!

PG: if i weren't there, where would i beeeee?!

PG: also, the guy throwin it is so hot!

chris: what guy? i'll go too

elle: i know, i didn't even click on the picture, he is so good looking and deserves a masquerade ball.

chris: oh ya, i definitely think he's cute

PG: if he's single, you should message him chris, and ask him a que about the ball and get the ball rolling "hey we were thinkin of going.. blah blah"

chris: you know me too well... i should ask him something stupid about the ball. i need to get on it.

PG: ya but let me proof read it

elle: you guys he's dead already

chris: well shit just my luck.. that really sad though

elle: we would try and get you to hit on a dead guy though... typical.

chris: hahahaha my life is a "diamond in the rough" .. you know i would've totally written him an email if no one said he had died.

chapped balls.

sometimes, you have those days, where you just can't wait to get home and shave your crotch.

olympics.

i am obsessed with the olympics so i just want to tell everyone, that when elle and i were 15, we really wanted to be on the bobsled team, just like "cool runnings".

my dad got so pissed off, that i don't think we were allowed to talk on the phone for like two weeks... "your legs aren't strong enough YOU'LL NEVER BE IN THE OLYMPICS".

he threatened to call elle's dad.

ps... STOP BRINGIN COOKIES TO WORK, AND MAYBE I CAN CONCENTRATE ON CHEATING MY WORK RESPONSIBILITIES TO POST FUNNIER BLOGS.

...more on jenny jones later..

BRB

ugh i actually have to work right now, and j is coming tonight so there will be intermittent blogging capabilities. i do, however, have a mil stories. including:

"there was this one girl at speed dating with long hair down to her butt.. i was like ummm hello, when you go to the bathroom does it get in the toilet!? but then i REALLY thought.. ew, does it get stuck in her butt crack?! OR HER BUTT HOLE?!" - Chris

I also have a story for Byron since he is such a solid reader, and i really wanna share the first date i've ever been on..

and anyhow just so you know, i'm not givin up on my fans ;)

i just love that someone else gets my style.

another match in the works..

based on the fact that one of my friends has been in the peace corps, somewhere in the depths of south africa, and thus is super horny..

.. and 'cause i need to get this buff guy off my balls.

i think we might make a one week relationship happen twice..

memory lane.

when CDs first were a thing, my homeless looking hippie smelly friend from band.. gifted me one for my 13th.

when i opened the wrapping, it was actually just the fridge magnets made of saying with which you can make a sentence "you're top dog it in my books!"

i wasn't let down or anything, 'cause you can thrill me with a rice sack, but i just remember the glance we exchanged.

i wonder what her parents do in their mansion all day...

I WOULD WASH HIM EVERY DAY!

i think this can also be a blog, about how i'm never getting a hedgehog :(

also, this one looks A LOT like j. they have the same eyes.. so cute!

"i'm a lucky man, to count on both hands.. the ones i love.."

paul simon will be at bonnaroo this year!

http://www.livedaily.com/backline/paul-simon-bound-for-bonnaroo-21321.html

maybe this is when i'll go stroll memphis..

sad day bear.

my mcqueen is dead, and i don't remember the last time i was this let down.

i hope the house will live on :(

all the good ones always leave :( ..and oj's just like chillin in jail..

i am so happy to have my friends, what a loss.. never look at boning the same :(

time for a vaca!

k paramore, you've had you're 15 minutes.. we get it, you weren't cool in high school...

annnnnddd 5 weeks.

FEED

Feed 3, by going to http://www.feedprojects.com/_product_78667/FEED_3_Bear

and buy this lil cutie for $35, or his big brother for $60

):

no one makes eye contact with me in the hallway.

1) i wanna new tattoo..

2) i wanna punch this guy in the face.

looove ellen's hair!

ship it! way to go lady!

double your pleasure.

willing to add an extra week of bi-sexual bf shunning. take it in friends.. take.it.in.