i am the personification of awkward.

on a trip to target that should've taken two minutes if i weren't broken, a special needs associate, suggested i use this cart. he took my crutches and put them up at customer service. normally, i'd turn down such an offer, for fear of looking awkward.. but i gladly accepted, noting his sense of accomplishment.

it took me roughly 40 minutes to maneuver around the store in search of wet wipes.

i finally made it to the approximate area, when avoiding a foreigner, a pole, and a stack of baskets, i got squished between the condom/lube aisle, and the tampon aisle, austin powers stlye...

and then my moto-cart died.

awesome, i thought to myself as a man tried to push me out of the way.

i waited patiently like a fool, until finally i saw a sales associate. i expressed my dilema and the need for my crutches, and off she went.

and i waited.

annnnd i waited.

and then up walks a lil punk style kid "excuse me i need a dollar for my car. i am 17."

"what?"

"i'm 17.."

"ya, no i don't even have my purse."

"..."

"listen, i've got bigger fish to fry," i said under my breath.

then the lady FINALLY returns "hi, i guess i will have to grab your stuff, anything else you need"

i try to think fast...

"wet wipes.."

WET WIPES??? seriously? ya, that'll go great with my lube.. wth!!

so i quickly exclaimed "i need my crutches!"

"where are they?"

"umm in customer service.."

so she yells across the store "ABBBY WE NEED HER [acts out "crutches"]"

"her what?" - abby

"[acts out crutches]"

i texted j my dilema... to which i received the most adorable text "are you at the one by safeway?? i will call them and tell them you need help . side note, this needs to be on your blog"